I Want You to Dig Me a Hole
by The Mute Bard
Summary: Arathamus studied under a drowish tutor. Now for the first time, witness a day in the secretive training of this mighty bard. Inspired by a scene from the movie "The Man Without a Face" Rated T for some language.


I Want You to Dig Me a Hole

Arathamus rose early this morning. The sun had not even cast its first slender rays of light upon the heavily forested hills. He had recently relocated to the capital of Carnassa, in order to cut down on his commute time for his weekly training under the drow Amon. He felt honored that such a high ranking person should take the time out of his busy schedule to tutor him. Arathamus vowed not to disappoint his master in whatever endeavors he was tasked with. He whistled a merry tune as he made the short trip from the inn to the isolated clearing where he had been instructed to meet Amon.

He arrived at the clearing at exactly the moment he had been told to be there. Arathamus grinned smugly at his punctuality. He looked around, trying to deduce where his tutor must be hiding. Today must be a lesson on stealth and subtlety, not his favorite subject, but he understood its value. He searched for several minutes, growing increasingly agitated as he failed to find Amon anywhere.

Finally, as the sun climbed high into the sky, Amon came strolling down the path, dressed in finery befitting an advisor to a junior councilman. His dark complexion blended in with the shadows as he casually walked down the center of the path.

"Nice of you to decide to drop in, master." Arathamus remarked, his voice dripping with disdain. "You're a good four hours late!"

"Indeed, how attentive you are to notice." Amon replied casually, acting as though nothing were out of the ordinary. "Now, tell me what you have learned from this."

"Never expect a drow to be on time?" Arathamus guessed bitingly.

"How about this," Amon countered, "Never be on time if you can make the other guy wait."

"Ah, words to live by. I see that you do." Arathamus replied, unable to keep from laughing slightly even despite his being made a fool of. "Now that you are here, what is my lesson for today?"

"I want you to dig me a hole."

"Say what? You want me to what?"

Amon continued as though he hadn't noticed being interrupted. "I want it three feet deep, with three sides. The shortest side shall be two yards long, the second side shall be three yards long, the third and final side shall be the length of the square root of thirteen."

Arathamus scratched his head. "Um, the square what of what?"

"Square root, the number that once multiplied by itself equals the number that you are given." Amon replied as though reading from a text-book.

"Multi-what? I'm confused master!" Arathamus whined.

"Just dig the damn hole. I'll be back this evening to see how you are doing." So saying, Amon pivoted and walked away. Arathamus muttered under his breath and complained. "You could have at least given me a shovel."

After improvising a shovel out of a slab of wooden board and a sturdy stick, all tied together with twine, Arathamus began to mark off the sizes for the triangular hole's borders with a marked rope. He thought for great length about what angle to make the two sides of known length join at in order to make the third side the proper length. After carefully mulling the possibilities, he remembered the word square used in the strange terminology his instructor used. He knew what a square was, and so he laid the rope out marking out the two sides at a right angle. Using the rope to ensure straight lines, he labored for many hours slowly excavating the hole to the precise specifications laid out.

The sun was sinking low over the horizon by the time Amon returned. Arathamus proudly displayed his handiwork, as he had just finished ensuring that all the sides of the pit were perfectly straight and smooth. Amon peered at the hole. He circled it slowly, rubbing his chin and humming slightly. Finally, he spoke.

"There's a hole in my clearing."

"Yes master, there is." Arathamus replied coolly. "If you will note, I believe you will find it's to your exact specifications."

"Hmph. Fill it up now, then go home. You need a bath. That'll be all for today." Amon remarked after a few seconds consideration.

"Master, aren't you at least going to tell me why you had me dig this hole?"

"Why should I? you dug it didn't you? Instead, I shall now ask you what digging this hole taught you."

"Well, let me think." remarked Arathamus. I suppose it taught me humility and that if I want to receive education from you, I must be willing to work and make sacrifices."

"Well spoken… for a serf!" Amon snorted. "I believe that instead, this should have taught you that people will do anything if they think the potential reward is good enough."

Arathamus was silent for several minutes as he filled in the pit and pondered the gravity of the moral that Amon had imparted. After some silence, he spoke up once again. "You made me dig this big of a pit just to teach my that one moral?"

Amon grinned as he replied, "Of course not! I just wanted to see if you were dumb enough for me to actually make you dig it!" Once again, he turned around with a swish of fine fabrics as he headed back to the keep. The drow's laughter echoed through the night long after he had faded from sight. Eventually however, the only sound audible once again was the gentle crunch of the shovel as it moved the earth back into the pit. After a few more minutes, Arathamus' mind finally put the last few pieces of the puzzle together.

"Fuck this shit, I'm going home!" he grumbled as he tossed the shovel into the woods and left the pit for some unfortunate soul to deal with.


End file.
